Two Fat Rat’s Bottoms

Once again I am faced with the third of life’s inevitable truths.  No I am not dead and I pretty much have paid my taxes but I am definitely latewith my write up for the Manila Tens programme.

The good news is that Hong Kong Football Club have pulled off the home double this year, which is absolutely fantastic and it gives me great pleasure to include this year’s winning photograph from a reputable English language newspaper which may or may not have
reproduction issues.

The other piece of spectacular news is that we welcome the return of Mr Benjamin Stobart to the Scorpions fold after a brief but fruitless sojourn away with the Ace Asia Barbarians, as they were called last year and are now called Complicated financial management company who nobody has heard of Asia Barbarians.  This year we are continuing the celebrations of Ben’s stag do, buck’s party, bachelor weekend (depending on your current whereabouts in the entity formerly known as the British Empire).

Ben celebrated the first part of his stag do at the HK sevens and we are pleased to announce that he is still getting married.  We remain as ever on tenterhooks to see whether that will be the case after this glorious weekend.

Once again I fear impending doom as we set out with another massive tour party, 45 players and staff, down 3 from last year which is a relief as last year was like herding cats! Unlike last year, the theme was decided early and the kit ordered on a fully democratic approach.  The shorter Welsher CEO and the Chairman agreed with everything I suggested as I had already ordered it.  Let’s face it, year of the rat and it was either Desert Rats or the Pied Piper.  So faced with a choice of dull brown khaki or 45 grown men in red tights and stripy shorts, little more needs to be said on where we netted out.  It is however nice to know that Tsunami were clearly overjoyed again this year to receive our call and leapt at the total inanity of our ridiculous approach to clothing with barely disguised lust.  Once again we are not shy!

Again I am not going to list out our massive party and I have singled out Cowhead for his role as the Stag, already.  I must however ask you to spare a moment for the end of an era as the very fine and extremely able Mr Colin Woods has finally retired from the Manila Touring schedule.  This leaves us solely in the hands of Mr Colin James, who is already celebrating a Welsh Triple Crown and will be entirely unbearable if by the time we arrive they have won the Grand Slam.

I can’t say with any certainty if we will be better or worse behaved this year.  I know we will look sartorially ridiculous, I know we will have a bloody good time, we will probably have a goat, we will drink a lot (in fact an enormous amount) and I know that once again Manila
will make or break some aspiring rugby legends.

Other than that I don’t give two fat rats bottoms what you think, I have to get this off and then remember that I haven’t given anybody any details about what we are doing.  Ho hum – let’s hope whoever is reading this includes us.

Bouch